The Nephew's Wife Read online

  A few minutes later Ellen and Rand crisscrossed the grounds inside a gorgeous night. They turned to each other when they reached the gazebo.

  “I have something to tell you—” they uttered at the same time.

  Ellen and Rand laughed at themselves.

  “You first,” Rand offered.

  “No, Rand, mine can wait.” Ellen didn’t want to rush toward dark news. She sat on a cushioned chair and tucked her feet underneath her legs. It’d been almost two weeks since the last time they were here together.

  Rand couldn’t sit. He was too nervous. This was all new to him. He’d never really loved a woman this way. Being with Lana in Paris had made him realize he never really loved her. He’d just been infatuated by her. What he felt for Ellen was real, true love. He’d die for her.

  “What is it Rand?” Ellen asked in a voice rose-petal soft and sweet.

  Rand perched on the edge of the chair, his arms resting on his thighs and his fingers linked in the middle. He studied the design in the rug on the floor, hoping the right words would leap from the woven threads.

  Ellen tensed over his hesitation. “Have I done something to displease you?”

  Rand gazed upward. It was just the opening he needed.

  “No, of course not.” He shook his head. “You could never displease me, Ellen. I—I’ve come to realize something on this trip.” He stood, unable to form sentences sitting still.

  “What?”

  Rand turned to her, his eyes a deeper brown than usual. “This isn’t easy to say, Ellen. My heart has been shut down for years. I never thought I could love again, but that’s all changed since you came here. You’ve stirred something in me. It’s brought me back to life. It’s almost like I’ve been dead all these years, and now I’m alive again.”

  Chills fluttered inside Ellen’s veins. She pulled the shawl closer to her.

  “Where is this leading, Rand?” She asked when he hesitated again.

  Rand sat down again so he could face her. The warmth in her eyes gravitated to his heart, flushing out his emotions.

  “I don’t want you to feel pressured or awkward,” he blurted out. “I realize you have a lot of grieving yet to do. You need a lot of time to deal with Paul’s death. I know how much you loved him and wanted a life forever with him. The pain you’re suffering is probably more than I could ever imagine.”

  Ellen wiggled, uncomfortably. “Rand, what are you trying to tell me?”

  Rand glanced down and wrung his hands then looked back up.

  “I’m trying to tell you that I’ve fallen in love with you, Ellen. I love you, but I’m making a big mess of saying it.”

  “What?” Ellen gasped. This wasn’t what she’d expected to hear. Rand Powers was in love with her. It was beyond her wildest dreams.

  “I know you can’t love another man for a while,” Rand said with his heart exposed. “It’s going to take time for you to get over Paul. I understand that. Your love for him is what made me realize what a special and amazing woman you are, Ellen. What you sacrificed to stay with him even though he couldn’t react with you showed me what real love does, how it should be. I’ve never known love like that. I’ve never loved that way, but that’s how I want to love you. I’m willing to wait for you forever if I have to.”

  Ellen’s stomach lurched into her throat. She couldn’t hide her discomfort. Her expression reflected someone watching a disaster unfold.

  Rand frowned. It wasn’t the reaction he had hoped for. “Don’t worry, Ellen. I’m not going to demand anything of you. I realize you may never get over Paul. Aunt Dolly never got over Uncle Harold. I knew what I was getting into when I came to terms with my feelings for you.” Rand threw his glance outside. “I realize you may never love me or even if you ever did, it wouldn’t be the same intense love you had for Paul. But, I had to tell you. I have to be honest with you about the way I feel.”

  Ellen knew Rand needed to hear something from her, but she couldn’t find the words. And even if she did, she’d not be able to push them out of her throat. Finally, she was hearing the words I love you from a man she truly loved, and she couldn’t even enjoy the moment. Once he heard what she had to say, he’d be so disappointed in her. Her deep love for Paul had won him over. He’d despise her when he learned there was no deep love at all.

  “I—d—don’t know what to say, Rand.” Ellen shoved her trembling hands through her hair, pushing her bangs away from her eyes that were slowly swimming in tears.

  “Don’t say anything, Ellen,” Rand said, somberly. “You don’t have to tell me anything. I realize your heart still belongs to Paul and might belong to him the rest of your life.”

  The ache in Rand’s words sliced Ellen’s heart like jagged shards of glass. How could she tell him the truth? She’d waited for this moment all her life, to be truly loved by someone as good and kind as Rand, someone with a heart for God, someone who shared her beliefs. All she could offer Rand was a truth that would make her look worse than Lana in his eyes.

  Ellen gazed into Rand’s fretful face with honesty. Rand was the man she loved, not Paul. It was never Paul. Rand is the man she’d love the rest of her life. She had to tell him before she said anything else, or she may never have another chance. Her heart was bursting to tell him how much she loved him.

  “I love you, too, Rand,” she said, soft and whispery. Tears shined in her eyes, but they didn’t fall.

  Rand’s expression reflected surprise and confusion. “You do?”

  Ellen nodded. “Yes, Rand, I do. You’re the man I’ve waited for all my life. I love you more than life itself. I feel so honored and blessed that you love me.”

  “What about Paul?” Rand furrowed his brow.

  Ellen lowered her gaze then lifted it slowly to meet his eyes. Her future happiness hinged on the next few words. “I never loved Paul. The truth is I didn’t want to marry him. I broke up with him the night before our wedding.”

  “What?” Rand gaped, confused and upset. “I thought Paul was the love of your life. You spent nine years by his side in the care center. You’ve been grieving the past two months while you’ve been here. How can you tell me now that you never loved him? It doesn’t make sense, Ellen. Are you telling me you’ve been lying all this time? Why?”

  “I didn’t know how to tell the truth,” Ellen replied. Her calm demeanor startled her. She’d expected to fall apart. God must have his hand on me, Ellen thought. It gave her courage.

  Rand scowled. “What’s that’s supposed to mean? Aren’t you supposed to tell the truth all the time?”

  “Sometimes, the truth isn’t easy to face, Rand.”

  “I’m not following.” Anger tainted his voice. “Why did you stay with Paul all those years if you didn’t love him, Ellen?”

  Ellen took a deep breath. “Because I caused Paul’s accident.”

  “What?”

  “After I told Paul I didn’t want to marry him, he became very upset and stormed out of the apartment. Ten minutes later he ran the stop sign and—well—you know what happened next.” Ellen didn’t stop there. She added what Whitney had told her. “I’ve since learned from someone that Paul wanted to kill himself. He ran through the sign on purpose.”

  Rand leapt up, shoving the chair beneath him backwards. He crossed to the doorway with his back to Ellen and furiously kneaded the back of his neck.

  Ellen watched as Rand absorb her confession.

  “Why did you let everyone believe you were grieving your fiancé?” Rand flung over his shoulder. “Was that just a ruse to make you feel better for what you did?”

  “No!” Ellen cried out.

  Rand faced her. “Why did you do it, Ellen? I don’t understand all the deception. I want to believe you weren’t responsible for all this. Help me understand.”

  “I’m sorry for disappointing you, Rand.” Ellen’s resolve was slipping. She was holding on to courage by her fingernails. “But, I am responsible for all of it. I broke up with Paul. I set off
a chain of events that I can’t take back. I allowed myself to be interviewed by Robin Davenport. When I saw how she fabricated some romantic story out of what I had told her, I should have said something then, but I—I didn’t want to disclose any more information about my relationship with Paul. It was too personal. I was tired. Guilt was eating away at me. What do you want me to say, Rand?”

  “I think you’ve said enough.” Rand tightened his jaw.

  Ellen rose from her chair. “I understand your anger, Rand. I’m not trying to excuse what I did, but—I never wanted any of this to happen. Please believe me. When I agreed to the interview with Robin, I never dreamed she would build me up to be some heroine. I was just trying to help her out with her feature for the newspaper.”

  “Why didn’t you set her straight when the story came out? It’s been two years.”

  Ellen shrugged, wearily. “I didn’t think anyone would pay any attention to it. When it showed up on the internet and caught fire, I felt too ashamed to admit my mistake. I kept hoping it would all go away, but it never did. It just got crazier for me. There’s something else, Rand.”

  “What?”

  “I told Robin all of this. She’s writing another article for Sunday’s paper to set the record straight. I’m sure there will be fallout. I’m sorry for the embarrassment I’ve caused you and Dolly.”

  Rand’s expression fell between stone cold and disbelief. “I don’t know what to say, Ellen. I need time to process all this. I thought I knew you, but—” he hesitated.

  “Now, you aren’t sure,” Ellen finished his thought.

  “You lied to me when I asked about Paul’s photos,” Rand accused with narrowed eyes. “You’re very good at withholding the truth. What else have you lied to me about? How can I believe anything you say? How can I trust you?”

  “Because I love you, Rand.” Ellen touched his arm. “If you love me, you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me. Please. I’ve lived with the guilt of ruining Paul’s life for nine years.”

  “Ruining his life!” Rand growled. “You call what you did to him ruining his life? He’s dead, Ellen. I don’t know how you can live with yourself.”

  “Please don’t say that, Rand,” Ellen pleaded. ‘Please don’t hate me. I couldn’t bear it if you did.”

  “I don’t know how I feel, Ellen. Please leave me alone for a while. I—just want you to leave me alone.”

  “I’m not a bad person, Rand.” Ellen defended herself. “I couldn’t go through with the marriage with Paul. I felt God telling me not to.”

  Rand smirked. “Are you blaming God for your actions? That’s pretty low, Ellen. Don’t make things worse for yourself. Just go.” He turned from her and lowered his head. Anguish filled him as he heard Ellen’s soft steps walk away.

  Chapter 13

  Saturday, Rand took Dolly to visit a friend in the hospital then out to lunch. Dolly had fared so well with the outing, she asked Rand to take her to church with him on Sunday.

  “Please join us, Ellen.” Dolly urged Ellen Sunday morning while Ellen helped her get dressed.

  Ellen declined. “This is your first Sunday back since your stroke, Dolly. It’s a special time for you and Rand. Besides, the article about me comes out today. It may be read by some of your church members. I don’t want to be a sore distraction during your pleasant trip. Go on and enjoy yourself. It’s good that you’re adding activities outside the home to your recovery. You’ll be back to your old self in no time. You won’t even need a companion soon.”

  “I am getting stronger every day thanks to you, Ellen,” Dolly smiled. “But, I would greatly miss having you around.” The deep lines on her face drooped. “Won’t you tell me what happened between you and Randolph the other night that’s put both of you at odds with each other? I’ve never seen two sadder people.”

  Ellen smiled tenderly as she clasped a string of pearls around Dolly’s neck.

  “Let’s not spoil your day, Dolly. It’s really nothing surprising anyway.”

  “Randolph won’t talk to me about it, either,” Dolly fussed.

  “Please don’t worry about us, Dolly,” Ellen pleaded. “You’re on the road to a full recovery. Even your walking is improving so don’t go backwards by taking on unnecessary stress. I’ll let Rand know you’re ready.”

  Rand was heading toward Dolly’s bedroom as Ellen stepped into the hallway. Ellen’s heart caved at the sight of him, dressed handsomely in a dark suit and light blue shirt. His love was so close and yet so very far away from her. The strain of the issues between them showed on his long face.

  “Dolly’s dressed and ready to go,” Ellen said, flatly. She was in no mood to tangle with Rand anymore.

  “You won’t be going with us? Aunt Dolly told me she was going to invite you.”

  Ellen shook her head. “No. I’ve explained my reasons to Dolly.”

  “You’re worried about the newspaper article.”

  Ellen nodded.

  “The timing for it can’t be worse,” Rand said in a disapproving way. Ellen bristled at his cold attitude.

  “I’m sorry,” Ellen apologized. “I hope it doesn’t present any problems for Dolly on her first Sunday back in church.”

  “Me, too.” Rand quipped, turning away.

  Ellen went straight to her room and waited until they had left the premises before putting a shawl over her shoulders and walking to the gazebo to pray.

  When she got there, overwhelming despair pulled her down. A stack of problems weighed on her shoulders. Ellen didn’t know where to start when she went before the Lord. There was the guilt over Paul’s accident that still vexed her, the lies and deception she’d committed, Rand’s anger, Whitney’s blackmail attempts, the article in the paper, and her own state of mind which was growing bleaker by the minute. The only good thing was Dolly’s improving health.

  Ellen glanced Heavenward and saw a cloudy sky. It matched her dreary spirits. With so many things going wrong, Ellen had the urge to pull away from God and question why He’d allow such dreadful commotion in her life. She opened her heart and frustration poured out.

  Is my faith not strong enough, God? Do I not pray often enough or sincere enough? Are my thoughts too selfish, too trivial, too unworthy?

  Ellen regretted her self-pity. God knew her heart. She couldn’t hide any thought from Him. It shamed her to be so down, and yet, how was she to feel? She was sad, and she couldn’t help it. Life had been one tragedy and crisis after another. Would there ever be any happiness for her?

  They were selfish questions, Ellen knew, but she had to flush them out in order to deal with them. Decisions had to be made. It was clear she could no longer stay at the Powers’ estate. It was time to move on. Dolly had improved enough thanks to her therapy. In no time she’d be walking again with a cane. She was already getting antsy, wanting to go more and mingle with friends. Ellen didn’t see much of a future as Dolly’s companion.

  Then what? Ellen wondered to herself. She needed guidance from the Lord. Only He could clear her mind. Bowing her head, Ellen poured her heart out to him.

  “Dear Heavenly Father, you know what I’m going through, all the mess I’m in and all the mess I’ve created for myself. There’s no one else to blame but me. You know what I’m facing. Please help me. Forgive me for hurting Paul, for not telling the truth about my relationship with Paul and disclosing what I’d done to him, for deceiving people the way I did. I’m sorry for all that. I’m sorry for hurting Rand. He believed in me, and I failed him. Please give me wisdom about what to do. I know I’m constantly asking for help, but I’m weak and I can’t think clearly. My heart is broken and my spirit is troubled and very low. I feel as if I’ll never be happy again.

  “I have so many things facing me. I need to move on with my life, but I don’t know what to do or where to go. I have to confront Whitney tomorrow, and I don’t know how to resolve that. I need to leave this place, but it makes me sad to think of leaving Dolly and Rand. They’ve been like fam
ily to me. Please, Dear Lord, help me through all this. Whatever your will is for me, I trust you to guide me in it. I want to be the person you want me to be. In the name of Jesus, I pray. Amen.”

  Ellen sat quietly, waiting for peace to come. She turned her thoughts away from her own troubles. There were others who faced greater battles. She’d witnessed many at the care center. The world was full of sorrow and suffering. People all around her were struggling just to survive. At least she had food and shelter. Profound gratefulness washed over her. She counted her blessings.

  Her parents had taught her to love the Lord. They’d been wonderful parents and gave her tremendous love. Her grandmother had been a true blessing in her life, helping her deal with her parents’ deaths. She had a nice job and had been able to put money aside. Her bank account was fuller than it had been in ages. Ellen felt ashamed for feeling sorry for herself when so many suffered every day. She bowed her head and asked God to forgive her for being so selfish.

  Sending her thoughts to others gave her peace. Ellen smiled at the lesson God was teaching her. Life isn’t about finding happiness for herself. It’s about being a blessing to others. Being obedient to God would bring her happiness. She’d been trapped in her own troubles for so long that she hadn’t considered what others may be going through. At that moment, sunshine separated the clouds and filled the space around Ellen.

  Rand’s focus wavered between the sermon and Ellen with Ellen having a heftier chunk of his attention. He was as low as he could get. His shoulders weighed a hundred pounds. Having his aunt beside him on the pew for the first time in a year didn’t lighten his heavy mood. Rand prayed silently for discernment and wisdom when he wasn’t lost in troubling thoughts.

  His heart was shattered over the separation from Ellen. Since Friday night, there was definitely a difference in the way they treated each other. She’d become withdrawn and quiet. He’d become skeptical and disillusioned. Not good places to be at the start of a relationship.